within the walls of my room...
my mind is at ease.
within these walls my emotions feel normal.
within these walls
i can live comfortably.
when i step outside, a feeling of numbness fills my entire being.
it's safe that way
no one can penetrate you
no one can rape your thoughts and feelings.

all the life mechanisms are intact and working, i'm just not sure if i am.
better days are ahead
i too am sure of it.

so until then,
i'll keep trying...
the freezing numbness will wear off in due time

my mind feels fine
my mind feels, fine
they would have me believe that it is stress that coaxes these behavioural patterns from my subconscious.
i wish they were nightmares instead because those have ends and places to wake up to
when do i wake up?
and when i do, will my mother have her hair? will my father's occupation be bringing in more money than we can justify spending? will my sister be sane and out of love? will i be a well adjusted and effective member of my community?
just remember
no one is like you. you... you are special
take it to heart. repeat to yourself daily when feeling lost or out of touch.
i'm sure things will be turning themselves around and not upside down soon. i am sure of it

i lead such a fullfilling human existance.