tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36082322011-04-21T18:08:36.345-07:00I am a notion I am all emotion I am a cherry ghostrivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.comBlogger811100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-1132478094711134992005-11-20T01:11:00.000-08:002005-11-20T01:18:23.343-08:00

I have finally come back from my sabbatical. Keep on the lookout, there's definetly more to come within the next 6 months. wilco - kicking television = aural happinessupcoming wedding = total happiness

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-1108528001739343502005-02-15T20:09:00.000-08:002005-02-15T20:26:41.740-08:00

I've started and deleted this opening sentence far too many times. It irks me that I don't write anymore. I don't really even have the time. It irritates me that I hardly play guitar anymore. I keep thinking about putting on a show this year... It's probably not going to happen. Well, not while I'm working, going to school, fighting in cage matches every second Thursday, Delivering babies

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-1102234128723299772004-12-04T23:46:00.000-08:002004-12-05T22:26:31.936-08:00

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine once in Germany someone said nein i really do wish that those words were words of my own... they're absolutely genius. it's been quite a long day. It's been a strange semester where i hardly feel like i've gotten any work done. but somehow, all my work always gets completed. I feel like i don't try very hard, and yet somehow i'm still doing

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-1095127796191790912004-09-13T18:52:00.000-07:002004-09-14T07:04:12.106-07:00

i've been sitting here for what seems like days. this past week, i've just felt this overarching sense that i've finally become "obsolete." my life revolves around small circles... but it seems as though these circles, for the most part have illuded me. i'm not depressed. i'm not cynical, i'm not jaded. a little sad... but for the most part i'm content. not ecstatic, maybe a little neurotic...

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-1081009499819402312004-04-03T08:24:00.000-08:002004-04-03T08:28:35.793-08:00

maybe i'm paranoid. i can tend to turn into a rollercoaster of confusion. i wish for a moment in time... i wish i could just freeze everything that's going on. you know... so everything would stop. everything and everyone would be motionless. there would be no noise... not a word, not a murmer, not even the hum of electrical appliances... my mind is a gridlocked...

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-1078772940274012292004-03-08T11:09:00.000-08:002004-03-08T11:12:02.250-08:00

i walked into work today... and i had this overwhelming urge. i barge in, jump on a table, and say "i quit suckers!!!!" but instead, i walked in sheepishly... and grabbed my books and went to class. it's getting harder and harder being here. i have great friends, and i'm having great opportunities at church. but one thing remains... i'm not at home. my experience here has been good. God's

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-1074658862363517742004-01-20T20:21:00.000-08:002004-01-20T20:23:01.093-08:00

ALBUM · Sea Change (2002) LYRICS Go to sleep We’re so tired now Altogether in a snake pit of souls New days To throw your chains away To try to hang your hopes on the wind Little one Just a little way Today all we need is waiting Night rise Like the evening prize In a turnstile backwards we fly Cold bones Tied together by Black ropes we pulled from a swing Little one Just a little way

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-1073748459752344962004-01-10T07:27:00.000-08:002004-01-10T07:29:20.560-08:00

i am not responsible. i would like to think i am. but really i'm not. i do things last minute. i'm always forgetting to do something i was supposed to do. tonight, i forgot to send the setlist to the guy who was supposed to type them out for service tomorrow. and i would normally just do it myself, but i don' t have the friggin program. something happened. i'm not sure what... but i sure

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-1072193120542238862003-12-23T07:25:00.000-08:002003-12-23T07:26:42.483-08:00

pink is the new black. i can feel them, these bugs... the filth clawing away at me. in these hours of desperation, i keep clinging to unspoken thoughts. i wander everyday, although i seem to always be in the same place... i speak out of routine... it's a stark dichotomy, the ability to be two places at once... a restless wanderer. always thinking about one thing, that didn't seem to leave me.

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-1071583812816851152003-12-16T06:10:00.000-08:002003-12-16T06:11:24.840-08:00

what am i waiting for? i wonder if i'm living up to my potential? what the hell does that mean anyway? how am i to find out what this potential is? is my sole purpose in life to make babies? is that what i'm here for, cause if that's it, then i'll do it. i really will! i've decided to stop all of this... this... pursuit of intellectual superiority. i don't care if i can't speak latin. i

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-1061854144479836122003-08-25T16:29:00.000-07:002003-08-25T16:29:41.303-07:00

i have this feeling inside, about being part of something great. but i don't know what that looks like i can only feel it, i can only hazily dream about it.... currently listening to: hillsong united - to the end of the earth

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-1058020787717206712003-07-12T07:39:00.000-07:002003-07-12T07:41:24.740-07:00

on nights like these, you start to see things clearer, listening to all three nick drake albums seems to clear the smog. i look at people, and i observe. People puzzle me... i ask them what they did on the weekend, and i get the same answer... they do the same thing every weekend. and i wonder, i'm puzzled, what are these people living for? How do people carry on day after day with out a

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-950493552003-05-29T13:35:00.000-07:002003-05-29T13:35:17.543-07:00

just like there were moments in time known as "hammer time." these moments will be known as "blogger time." i've arrived in Seoul Korea only discover that i have transformed into some sort of monster. That's right, a monster, who's sole purpose is to destroy people with his sweat and stench. for some reason, korea has decided that it wants to become the bane of my existence. how many of you

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-949013842003-05-26T09:28:00.000-07:002003-05-26T09:28:08.856-07:00

i guess i get the chance to disappear. it's not as easy as i thought.

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-936307082003-05-01T19:43:00.000-07:002003-05-01T19:43:13.993-07:00

there are three possibilities that are going on right now. i am either: 1) slowly going crazy 2) dying 3) somehow becoming a bigger person i want to disappear. to not let anyone know where i'm going. the one's i would let know, would be sworn to secrecy, and would not tell anyone. and then i would disappear. not that i want to escape, i just want a new perspective, i want to be a better

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-917333482003-03-31T13:50:00.000-08:002003-03-31T13:50:22.483-08:00

radiohead - hail to the thief has been leaked. http://www.idioteque.it/multimedia/audio.htm it's kind of like a late christmas gift i guess.

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-903953752003-03-09T01:59:00.000-08:002003-03-09T01:59:40.873-08:00

some nights... some nights, you stay up, wanting to be inspired to say something thought provoking. this is not one of those nights. i've got nothing... "love is supposed to be this bad, make you cry, mega ultra sad." - ben kweller

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-894882262003-02-21T01:47:00.000-08:002003-03-09T01:56:30.000-08:00

so the hilarity ensues... as days go on, i'm starting to make less and less sense. i'm starting to be less rational. i dipped into the stupid sauce, and now i'm hammered, but nothing like the lovehammer. (no not even that, baxta) (it's amusing how some people will just never understand some of these little jokes... but for me, they are genius.) anyway, i made a deal. a deal, that makes

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-887488592003-02-08T00:17:00.000-08:002003-02-08T00:20:11.000-08:00

so it's time to eat my words. it's time, to say, something to the effect of, "shit! what happened?" as of now, i am no longer seeing this wonderful girl. she ended it today. i can't be so naive and say that i didn't see it coming. it defintely was a suprise, but not something i expected so soon. things are different now, i don't want to be bitter, i want to be good about it. i want to be sane.

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-882136442003-01-29T09:05:00.000-08:002003-01-29T09:05:35.666-08:00

And now I've found a new friend No one can be happier than me

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-876019342003-01-17T10:49:00.000-08:002003-01-17T10:49:51.640-08:00

some people understand what they're getting into before they make the commitment. my life seems to be a different story. things don't really hit me until i'm right smack in the middle of it. of course, my realization of my current situation isn't always a bad thing. take my relationship with this wonderful girl, who everyday i thank God for, because she's truly a gift from God. i don't think

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-872117322003-01-10T02:07:00.000-08:002003-01-10T02:07:55.210-08:00

ah, philosophy and love are all that there is without god. and yet, life is beautiful. it's peace that's found in the things that bring you to passion. it's love and joy in the comfortable company of others. it is the familiarity of the strange and unknown. oh, it's good oh, it's worth it and, oh, somedays it isn't the fight that's overwhelming, but instead, the inbetween silences

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-872116422003-01-10T02:03:00.000-08:002003-01-10T02:03:26.453-08:00

I never felt magic crazy as this. I never saw moons, knew the meaning of the sea. But, now that you're here, brighten my northern sky. Would you love me for my money? Would you love me for my head? Would you love me through the winter? Would you love me till I'm dead? I never held emotion in the palm of my hand or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree But, now that you're here, brighten my

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-869983552003-01-06T00:29:00.000-08:002003-01-06T00:29:39.450-08:00

the real battle has just begun to claim the victory jesus won

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-869438632003-01-04T18:47:00.000-08:002003-01-04T18:51:13.000-08:00

i'm bursting with some sort of excitement something indescribeable resolution is indeed a good thing and, the fact that someone out there feels the same way oh, my heart feels like it's going to explode (in a good way.)

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-865087482002-12-25T00:00:00.000-08:002002-12-25T00:00:58.433-08:00

the drugs she takes cause her brain to stop functioning in certain ways that aren't noticeable unless you are often around her. i think today wore on me more than any others have. my mother, in a self induced coughing frenzy upset because i am the son that cannot stand her existence as the most terrible mother ever. i am helpless and any of my worsds only aggrivate the situation further so, i

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-864634992002-12-23T19:53:00.000-08:002002-12-23T19:53:18.840-08:00

good intentions are always in my mind, and i hope in my heart. but unfortunately they haven't materialized into anything tangible... these days, there haven't been many evidences of these good intentions at work. maybe i'm just too hard on myself, or maybe i secretly loathe myself to the point that, anything worth taking note of is brushed over and hidden, so the endless cycle of self-hatred can

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-858887662002-12-12T03:29:00.000-08:002003-01-06T00:24:19.000-08:00

I do not deal well with the likes of you.

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-858107612002-12-10T16:55:00.000-08:002002-12-10T16:55:28.136-08:00

i'm not really here . And now, with a little luck and from this bubble of sobriety, I explain the Dharma as I understand it. This will conceivably be a long rant. Identity criteria is an interesting thing. It goes like this. I'm looking at this pair of sunglasses here. They're cheap-ass sunglasses, by the way, though I'd like to think I make them look good. $10 at the Aotea markets, that kind

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-856176542002-12-06T16:54:00.000-08:002002-12-06T18:06:25.000-08:00

i make choices every day i make the choice to wake up in the morning i make the choice to shower i make the choice to go to class. These are some pretty important choices. (i'm not being sarcastic either) They're absolutely vital to my existence. i make the choice to eat i make the choice to be friendly so what is it about certain choices that make life so difficult? what about the choice i

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-853040032002-11-30T12:44:00.000-08:002002-11-30T12:46:21.000-08:00

the days are getting brighter. i still have my problems, but hopefully they will be dealt with. Now Joshua was dressed in flithy clothes as he stood before the angel. The angel said to those who were standing before him, "Take off his filthy clothes." Then he said to Joshua, "See, I have taken away your sin, and i will put rich garments on you." Then I said, "Put a clean turban on his head.

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-852447752002-11-28T23:45:00.000-08:002002-11-28T23:45:13.486-08:00

i'm numb with madness. in little spurts i'm functional, the inbetween is panic and travelling places in cars.

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-852395912002-11-28T20:47:00.000-08:002002-11-28T20:47:17.063-08:00

i am the instrument of social revolution.

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-848032582002-11-19T22:31:00.000-08:002002-11-19T22:31:09.400-08:00

this "so called" christian bubble is all bullocks. i really don't want to be friends with everyone. being popular never completed me. being in the spotlight doesn't give me a "rush of excitement" or an intrinsic sense of worth. i like simple things i like small groups of no more than 3. i like being alone. this whole community thing is nothing but a false sense of security. the fake plastic

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-845178882002-11-14T01:28:00.000-08:002002-11-14T01:28:52.103-08:00

it's the nights that are the hardest. but slow down, take things as they come tomorrow is just a dream away. tomorrow is just a dream a day. just keep breathing. in, out, inhale, exhale.

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-842885522002-11-09T12:53:00.000-08:002002-11-09T12:53:51.120-08:00

within the walls of my room... my mind is at ease. within these walls my emotions feel normal. within these walls i can live comfortably. when i step outside, a feeling of numbness fills my entire being. it's safe that way no one can penetrate you no one can rape your thoughts and feelings. all the life mechanisms are intact and working, i'm just not sure if i am. better days are ahead i too

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-842148982002-11-07T23:55:00.000-08:002002-11-07T23:55:39.700-08:00

my mind feels fine my mind feels, fine they would have me believe that it is stress that coaxes these behavioural patterns from my subconscious. i wish they were nightmares instead because those have ends and places to wake up to when do i wake up? and when i do, will my mother have her hair? will my father's occupation be bringing in more money than we can justify spending? will my sister be

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-838148402002-10-31T00:26:00.000-08:002002-10-31T00:29:14.000-08:00

please click on this hyper link. it directs you here: http://home.swipnet.se/~w-15266/cultur/bukowski/poem06.htm

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-838143252002-10-31T00:05:00.000-08:002002-10-31T00:05:43.650-08:00

"if it's not love, than it's the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, that will bring us together." sounds: smiths - singles

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-837048692002-10-28T22:34:00.000-08:002002-10-28T22:34:00.940-08:00

life is full of colors and lights coming together in a wash of uncontrollable time. the way skin moves beneath form fitting fabric, not tight, but tender and sensual. flaws are apparent and beaufitul. these are the feelings of peace one can only imagine possible in a car, 300 feet above ground, falling with the driver strapped in for his final ride. in that final rush, life has meaning. these

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-836524922002-10-28T00:35:00.000-08:002002-10-28T00:35:42.326-08:00

the changes i crave are deeper than one's skin. my life is marked with discontented moments and i crawl through the gutters of fulfilled potential while others shine gloriously with the effort they exert. my mind is larger than ten universes without boundries and with in it exists nothing. i believe in makeup wearing, costume hidden humans, slyly slipping by without ever really living. inside

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-832413602002-10-19T23:08:00.000-07:002002-10-19T23:08:33.353-07:00

in a fit of rage, i have just deleted everyone from this blog website... so what's my dilemma? i have none... it's over...

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-831792692002-10-18T11:07:00.000-07:002002-10-18T11:07:59.850-07:00

This is just a huge contradiction to yesterday. Maybe I've been enlightened. Maybe I'm just very confused. This is how I feel: I think I take it all back. I am just a naive girl. I choose to be just a naive girl. After all, it is more fun. But I think maybe they are right. You can't try to be "just friends" and assume nothing will come of it. So, perhaps I was wrong. All I can say is I'm

Sara-Lynnnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-831330112002-10-17T13:14:00.000-07:002002-10-17T13:14:22.743-07:00

"Just Friends" Am I just a naive girl? I would be okay with that... as long as I know. They tell me it can't be done. I think they're wrong. Maybe I'm just dumb, but I don't care A boy and a girl. Just friends. Is it possible? Boys and girls can hang out and have fun. Boys and girls can date. But where is the middle ground? I have a need for intimacy. I have a desire for intimacy. I have

Sara-Lynnnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-830341372002-10-15T15:12:00.000-07:002002-10-15T15:12:46.286-07:00

From now on I will regularily be posting pieces of thoughts that are in my head. They will be mere pieces, because whole thoughts do not like the manner in which I have organized the furniture upstairs. I reccomend Feng Shui for raising children. It will allow the energy to flow effortlessly through the synapses in their brains. Synapses are important. Not impotent. Important. You may be asking '

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-829974612002-10-14T20:53:00.000-07:002002-10-14T20:53:34.810-07:00

What the hell is the problem with freaking people sending me their damn forwards??? I don't care if blondes read the oil sign upside down. I don't care to know what makes people cry... I don;t care about the girl whose dog has cancer... Man, maybe I just don't care... Well, life is sweet, I like Campbell River. Other than that, nothing. Does anybody else here think Smurfs are weird? I feel

Dannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-825050412002-10-03T23:23:00.000-07:002002-10-03T23:23:54.606-07:00

blogging is the death of daniel. daniel is dead.

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-824571742002-10-03T00:24:00.000-07:002002-10-03T00:24:53.776-07:00

One time, I was sitting in my room and I thought, "Does following God really mean I have to wear a suit and carry a Bible?" I mean, Why is it that all your B.C. teachers give you lots of wonderful advice on "how" to minister, yet, somehow I need advice on "why" to minister. I always used to think, "I don't want to save my friends, because if their Christian walk is going to be anything like mine,

Dannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-824054352002-10-01T23:51:00.000-07:002002-10-01T23:56:22.000-07:00

just for the sake of arguing... i've decided that awkward silences on phone conversations shouldn't be seen as a problem. i used to rack my brain to try to find something to say during those awkward phone silences... it seems as though no matter how hard you try to think of something intelligent to say, nothing ever comes... so what in the world am i saying anyway? i think awkward silences

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-820294242002-09-23T21:21:00.000-07:002002-09-23T21:21:37.800-07:00

I've come to the conclusion that I am not particularly fond of phone conversations. I agree with the concept when people are half-way across the country and you just want to hear their voice...but in the day to day living, I am not such a big fan. It is so much more satisfying to see the person you are talking to - their facial expressions and reactions to your remarks. And there isn't the

Sara-Lynnnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-820224342002-09-23T18:43:00.000-07:002002-09-23T18:43:56.010-07:00

There is absolutely no way i am going to attempt to edit that pathetic anti-grammatical piece of rebellion. on to a different matter completely... i wonder sometimes if phone conversations are rehearsed. wait... maybe not phone conversations... but rather answering machine messages... i think it might be a habit i should take up... i am the absolutely terrible when it comes to leaving

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-819827492002-09-22T23:29:00.000-07:002002-09-22T23:29:59.773-07:00

hi, Im here. I feel kind ov, I don't no, here. Anywho, I will be writing soon, more often than not hopefully. I'm kind of rambling on, and on and on and on and on, and I don't no why? Okay, so here's the new guy, being lame and singing offff.

pseudotrendnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-818621722002-09-20T01:10:00.000-07:002002-09-20T01:16:07.000-07:00

it seems as though i've lost my ability to communicate my thoughts in conversation. Maybe it's because for the past two years i've hidden in a tiny bubble and wouldn't let people in until i was in dire crisis. Well, two years have passed by, and hopefully i've gotten a little wiser. I find myself not wanting to live in a tiny bubble anymore. So what's the alternative? The alternative in

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-808904422002-08-29T15:38:00.000-07:002002-08-29T15:38:09.546-07:00

got no tongue got no money got no love got no honey? i have an assortment of anxieties soliciting my mind. i feel strange, maybe a little useless at the moment. i want freedom, and i want responsibility. however, i don't know what i want more.

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-808312802002-08-28T10:29:00.000-07:002002-08-28T10:29:46.310-07:00

I am so excited to move into my new place in Abbotsford that's all i have to say, nothing poetic or contemplative, Whooee!

hollynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-804938172002-08-20T15:02:00.000-07:002002-08-20T15:02:05.036-07:00

RIBBIT!

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-804937622002-08-20T15:00:00.000-07:002002-08-20T15:00:32.126-07:00

in the silence lurks voices bent on the destruction of all we hold dear we try so hard to hold on we are strained by bullets so tempting streaming into the darkness without hope of redemption every eskimo falls prey to a variety of silent wonders do not stray from the path for too long or you will be lost amongst the other thrill seekers instead, life tells you to reach and reach there is

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-803846312002-08-18T01:02:00.000-07:002002-08-18T01:03:06.000-07:00

i had a great talk with a guy tonight. For the first time in this summer, i got to unload on a guy my age in the same town i'm in I've missed that especially since the guy i would usually talk to is the one i need to talk about its an interesting feeling to talk to a big, burly, good looking guy, about another guy ironic in a way usually it would not be the case (me with my fickle emotions) I

hollynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-803235432002-08-16T09:23:00.000-07:002002-08-16T09:23:23.536-07:00

i wrote a blog earlier today about how i wanted to be a transient overseas, which would actually make me a hippie-hearted college student trying to discover his identity. but it never got posted cause i pressed the wrong button and the blog vanished. but over the course of 15 minutes or so, i've changed my mind. being a wanderer would be my second choice. my first choice would have to be a

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-800354542002-08-09T11:07:00.000-07:002002-08-09T11:07:14.650-07:00

today i am lamenting over lost friendships and changes Oh cruel irony how i hate you for your spiting me down with those who belive us to qualify for mediocrity and those who believe us to fall only into memory i've never wanted a soul mate before such a rediculous idealistic cliche Yet today, to be safely in love would be a comfort And comfort, how long has it been since i have known you? To

hollynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-799716382002-08-07T23:22:00.000-07:002002-08-07T23:28:31.000-07:00

the ongoing melodrama has finally ended. the saga is no more. there will be no fourth installment to this trilogy. there won't even be a prequel. i finally got a hold of melanie... things didn't go as planned, but yet somehow i could see it coming. our once close friendship has drifted... over the course of three months, what i thought was close friendship turned out to be nothing but

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-799283932002-08-07T00:51:00.000-07:002002-08-07T23:26:08.000-07:00

my life is a rollercoaster of emotions. you might as well call me the emo of all emo kids. (i hate emo) let's be frank, let's be honest, let's stop living this pseudo-lifestyle. i feel pseudo. i want life. i want freedom. i don't want to be bound by my own insecurities, my own problems, my lust... things aren't always what they seem. i have a dear friend that i think the world of.

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-799205252002-08-06T20:40:00.000-07:002002-08-06T20:40:02.940-07:00

It's about time! So, I've finally felt inspired to sit down and write something here. I talked to Moey the other day, and we did both agree that one has to feel inspired before just writing anything here. So, here goes. This summer has gone on too long. I have reached that point...you know...the point where all you can think of is what is going to come next and you have to try extremely hard

Sara-Lynnnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-798672622002-08-05T17:26:00.000-07:002002-08-05T17:28:41.000-07:00

thoughts on love and other fantasies... my friend monte came over last night. we drove around kelowna till about midnight and talked. it was great. this morning i met up with my friend geoff heith. we walked around the mall going into various stores. we then headed over to scandia golf and games. It's quite a depressing place when you think about it. It's full of kids wasting their money

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-797832762002-08-03T13:58:00.000-07:002002-08-03T13:58:37.580-07:00

so, i'm heartbroken its a feeling i haven't felt in a long time to make matters worse, i'm heartbroken with deep feelings of remorse and regret In the past i deeply hurt a friend i love and didn't realize it he had feelings for me deeper than friendship and i unintentionally made him feel inferior to make matters worse my feelings changed for that friend after knowing him for my entire life i

hollynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-797674712002-08-03T00:39:00.000-07:002002-08-03T00:39:55.710-07:00

this is me reading dan kangs entry - hahahahahahahahahahaha and whats with old stalking ladies?

hollynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-797667832002-08-03T00:07:00.000-07:002002-08-03T00:07:19.236-07:00

yesterday, i was in the rutland pharmasave shopping around for deodorant and hair gel. as i was walking around, i started to get this eerie feeling that i was being followed. so i turned around and there was this lady who was probably about 45 years old, wearing grey jogging pants and a dirty yellow sweatshirt. So i continue with my browsing, but it seemed that no matter where i went this lady

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-795648542002-07-29T14:22:00.000-07:002002-07-31T18:24:37.000-07:00

for the love of my sanity, would someone please blog besides me!

hollynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-794049242002-07-25T12:38:00.000-07:002002-07-25T12:38:29.590-07:00

there are times when i saunter into this website and am rocked by my friends how lucky am i to have friends who blow my mind just by stuff they think about on a day to day basis? I am blessed Today i am thankful to be surrounded by people who are real and who care when i am real and my realness is unnatractive I am also extrememly thankful for a mother who realizes that i am not her and sees my

hollynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-793847872002-07-25T01:10:00.000-07:002002-08-03T00:09:00.000-07:00

i too wonder who i would be without these outside expectations. i wonder who i would be if i lived in a different demographic. would if i lived in a larger multicultural city like vancouver for majority of my life. would i have turned out to be the "stereotypical korean/rice rocket loving karoke star?" i think there's a possibility. who knows...? on to a different matter... i was talking

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-793713112002-07-24T18:24:00.000-07:002002-07-25T00:27:48.000-07:00

i wonder...without outside expectations, who would i be? i am sick and tired of expectations. christian expectations family expectations expectations because of where i grew up, where i went/go to school expectations based on how i look i want to be able to figure out who i am and what i want to do without basing it on what others expect, whether intentionally or unintentionally i don't desire to

melissanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-792746922002-07-22T15:27:00.000-07:002002-07-23T17:41:04.000-07:00

mo, you really don't talk about movies as much as you think you do. And for heaven's sake people need superficial interests. Sometimes its those interests that ironically challenge us to think about deeper things. Don't negate a hobby just becuase it doesn't solve the universe's, world's or even your problems. I have had few meaningless or boring conversations with you, even those involving

hollynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-792485432002-07-22T01:13:00.000-07:002002-07-22T08:22:46.000-07:00

i am sick and tired of meaningless boring conversaton. i like to talk to people that have something to say, that think about what they say, that care about me. i'm not talking about the highly intellectual "i'm so smart look at me" conversations, but rather well though out deep discussions that concern things. some of you may be thinking..."really, then why do you always talk about movies?" you

melissanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-792290222002-07-21T14:12:00.000-07:002002-07-21T14:12:32.456-07:00

A description of Dan Kang from someone outside of Dan Kang who likes to think she sees past the surface of Dan Kang: Therapeutic - if there was ever a person who was easy to be around, it would definitely be him. This is a conclusion that both Moey and Holly have come to Not only therapeutic in a casual sense, but because his longing for deep intelectual, meaningful conversation is something I

hollynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-792123762002-07-20T23:58:00.000-07:002002-07-22T00:02:52.000-07:00

twisted realities.... something i long for and despise at the same time. i stood and listened to a conversation about childhood toys... all i could think about was how unimportant the whole conversation was. but without these conversations what would we be left with? God forbid, maybe something intellectual, maybe something meaningful, maybe something world changing? don't get me wrong, i am

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-792107022002-07-20T22:49:00.000-07:002002-07-20T23:25:54.000-07:00

I like men alot! At this moment frustrated with some but generally a lover of men I find that those who write about pseudo emotionalism to be intriguing i watched the movie Amelie last night Huge in the cuteness and endearment factor Generally this would be something I would secretly love yet not admit The reason is this: I realized that I perk up while watching twisted realities Twists that

hollynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-791800132002-07-19T22:51:00.000-07:002002-07-19T22:51:29.626-07:00

I like men. I like them a lot. I too am a man. Who else likes men?

Matthewnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-791130032002-07-18T10:30:00.000-07:002002-07-18T14:48:47.000-07:00

its the honey roasted venom that tends to get the Daniel Kangs of this world in trouble about your schizophrenia I can relate and i've seen you struggle the thing is you are not an ordinary guy with ordinary stuff on his mind i bet you overwhelm yourself just by being yourself.

hollynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-790990592002-07-18T00:21:00.000-07:002002-07-18T15:07:44.000-07:00

emo is the worst thing since the holocaust i read on the internet about "things that are emo", and i saw that belle and sebastian were on the list of "emo" bands. this is precisely why i loath the emo scene... it's trying to take over everything! Since when is belle and sebastian an emo band? then the guy who made the website split the genre of emo into sub genres... He said that bands like

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-790095152002-07-16T00:06:00.000-07:002002-07-16T00:06:28.260-07:00

today i woke up in a terrible mood. i feel like i'm schizophrenic sometimes. i have two personalities that contradict each other. the first personality, is completely apathetic. all it wants to do is "get by." when i'm identifying with this personality, all i want to do with my life is to disappear. to move away, to boston, or chicago, somewhere where no one will find me. work a crappy job

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608232.post-783980762002-06-30T17:25:00.000-07:002002-06-30T17:25:20.000-07:00

welcome to a life coated with honey roasted venom!

rivershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00843012355760689800noreply@blogger.com0